It’s funny. You’d think that a true believer in the technocracy, one with a journalism degree no less, would’ve fired up his first real blog long before now.

Heck, I was learning my ABC’s at the same time I was learning my QWERTY’s. I grew up bilingual; speaking DOS, as well as semi-fluent English. I was typing 80 words/minute in the 7th grade. I got suckered into OS2. I designed my first webpage for Netscape 1.0. I’ve had Tivo for more than three years.

But my coveted early-adopter status is in serious jeopardy over this late pick up.

Oh well.

To quote Steve Earle, “The revolution starts now.”

So, FCC be damned, come hell or high water, God willing and the creek don’t rise … here’s a piece of my mind.

And here’s my two part pledge to you, dearest reader:

Part the first
I promise I’ll do my best not to squander this bandwidth, or your valuable time, on pointless navel gazing. I’ll try to avoid pondering the deeper meaning of my corn flakes or the profound existential dilemmas inherent in choosing the perfect bath soap.

(Though, I still beg the quesiton … “What exactly is so impure about those remaining 56 hundreths of a bar of Ivory® soap?”)

Yes, I’ll strive to at least elevate my musings to semi-reasoned discourse on the latest news or well-versed gossip about the season premiere of The OC. (Merry Chrismukkah, y’all!)

Part the second
To my friends and family, I promise to do my best not to put your private lives in the public eye, either. I’ve seen too many people drag personal matters onto their online journals and end up hurting the ones they love. I do not intend for this to be a simple diary where I chronicle the ins and outs of every relationship I hold dear, or at least describable — please slap me upside the head if I let that happen. I know it’s a good exercise for some people, but I don’t think I’m one of them.

So with that out of the way, here’s to a future of entertaining and enlightening discourse. Or at least the funniest damn fart jokes on the internet.

Boogity, boogity, boogity…