Archive for October, 2004

How low can you go?

If you’re from Texas, you’ve probably seen a handpainted sign or two (or hundred) that says, “Don’t squat with yer spurs on!” You usually see them in classy places like your grandmother’s bathroom or the lobby of your local Cracker Barrel.

According to a recent study, this little tidbit of western pragmatism might be guiding the evolution of our species. How so? Apparently, Western women can’t squat.

Deal of the century

This is one of the best eBay auctions ever. Be sure to read the additional description and the Q&As.

Election for sale

I see a bad moon rising

It sounds like tonight may be the Flight of the Great Pumpkin.

Even better than the real thing?

Here’s an article with pics of the upcoming U2 branded iPod.

I love my iPod.

Probably more than I should.

I’m not so sure I can get behind a black and red one, though. I dig the engraved signatures on the back, but the classic white look is already so iconic.

On the other hand, the red and black would match the interior of my VW.

Take a look. Tell me what you think.

Don’t cry. Don’t raise your eye.

It’s only Dave’s column on Cinescape:

TV Wasteland

Get the scoop on this week’s TV poop. In this week’s column, you’ll even learn that Norman Mailer will be guest starring on Bo’s girlfriend’s show.

An open letter to AOL: I have a few ideas to make the internet better

Dear AOL,

Inspired by your brilliant new advertising campaign, I have two ideas to make the internet better. I hope you find them useful, and that they provide insight into the thinking of your consumers. Here they are:

  1. Stop pretending that you are the internet. It makes you sound really arrogant.
  2. Don’t install software like Viewpoint on my computer, because it really makes me mad. I really love AIM, and I think it’s a great program. I’m willing to watch the ads because I believe it’s worth it in order to keep AIM free. But installing weaselly snooping programs like this without really asking me first (a blanket statement in an obtuse privacy policy isn’t asking me) is a really lousy way to treat a customer. My computer’s slow enough. I don’t need it weighed down by junk applications you install on my behalf. You’re only making me want to install alternative IM applications, like Trillian.

So those are my two ideas. Take them or leave them.


PS – I hope you’re not spending your whole R&D budget on all of those extra chairs. That would be a shame.

Ooops, I did it…

Did Ashlee’s dad read my earlier post?

Ashlee Simpson’s dad blames acid reflux disease for `Saturday Night Live’ gaffe

Key quote:
“And he said she’s never used the extra help onstage before.”

Sure. And Bill Clinton didn’t inhale.

What does an Oompa Loompa sound like when caught in a squeaky fan belt?

If you answered, “Stacy R from The Apprentice,” you’re right!

So what is she doing now that she isn’t whining on national television every Thursday and Saturday night?

Well, she’ll come whine at your party!

That’s right right! You can book Little Stacy to speak at your party or corporate function!

Where have you gone Joe DiMaggio?

Oh, that’s right … You’ve moved to Boston. And you’re pitching.

Why Curt Schilling is the gutsiest player in baseball

A lot has been said about this guy recently. But is it enough? Probably not. People say athletes aren’t role models … and sure, there are plenty of more valuable people in our society who are overlooked. But if you’re a kid in Little League today, I hope you’re watching Curt Schilling. This is a guy who plays the game the way it’s supposed to be played — both on and off the field.

Live video kills radio star

Did anybody watch SNL this weekend?

I didn’t. But I caught up with the hubub this morning.

For those of you who haven’t heard yet, freshly-minted pop starlet Ashlee Simpson had a rather embarrassing evening. Apparently her sound guy (or the computer he was using, according to her publicist) goofed up and started playing the vocal track for the wrong song during her second performance of the evening. When she realized something was amiss, she had a moment of befuddlement so profound that she decided to cover it up by doing a goofy hoedown dance. When that didn’t work, she decided to take a cue from Snagglepus and “exit, stage left.” At the end of the show she tried to blame her band for playing the wrong song.

The full story is here:

You can view the hilarious clip here:

Normally, this sort of thing would just be amusing. But I have a problem with it when it happens to a singer who has previously declared that she would never lip synch. You know what Ashlee? Nobody ever expected you to sing. But when you get caught using a well-known industry trick, don’t lie. Don’t blame your band.

If you do lie, come up with a better one.

Maybe you could blame it on indigestion … from the buffalo your sister cooked you for lunch.