About the trip
In the Summer of 2001, two complete idiots set out on the road to “see America.” (The Eastern half of it, at least.) They went, they saw, and to a certain degree, they conquered. Some of the places visited on that wild ride included Graceland, a giant concrete Jesus, the birthplace of the Corvette, the world’s biggest hole in the ground, the original Kentucky Fried Chicken, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, Niagara Falls, Cooperstown, Fenway Park, Asbury Park, Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash, and the Fountain of Youth. (Any subsequent appearance of fire trucks at any of the above locations is completely coincidental.)
Since that time, Bo and Dave (the aforementioned idiots) have been quietly waiting for the right time to hit the road again. (And for the statute of limitations to expire.)
Here’s a few of the things that have happened since the last road trip:
- 9/11
- Anthrax
- Barry Bonds broke the single season home run record
- Afghanistan
- The USA PATRIOT Act
- One of the Beatles died
- Enron
- WorldCom
- The Beltway Snipers
- SARS
- Invasion of Iraq
- “Mission Accomplished” in Iraq
- Plame Gate
- Johnny Cash died
- The Concorde was grounded
- John Kerry
- Train bombings in Madrid
- Wrestlemania XX
- Abu Ghraib
- GM stopped making Oldsmobiles
- Ronald Reagan died
- Martha Stewart went to jail
- Tsunami
- NHL goes on strike
- The pope died
- Deep Throat’s cover was blown
- New Orleans was nearly wiped off the map
- Chief Justice Rehnquist died
- New Orleans was nearly wiped off the map again
- The Vice President shot a lawyer (that one’s probably a wash)
- Mel Gibson goes on a tequila bender and calls a cop “Sugartits”
- The Crocodile Hunter cheats death for the last time
- Ted Haggard’s crystal meth and man flesh habit is exposed
- Democrats took over Congress and promptly accomplished … jack squat
- Gerald Ford died
- Microsoft Windows Vista
- Don Imus learned what a “nappy headed ho” was
- Senator Larry Craig visited Minneapolis
- Bob Barker retired from The Price is Right
- Michael Vick became ineligible for PETA’s “man of the year” award
- A bridge in Minneapolis collapsed under the weight of Senator Craig’s heavy, but ineffective denials
- Barry Bonds broke the career home run record
- The Writers Guild of America went on strike
- The Mitchell Report was released
- Oil hit $100 per barrel
As you can plainly see, the world has been on a vicious downhill slide since Bo and Dave stopped their tour. It’s certainly in everyone’s best interests for them to get back on the road as soon as possible. Apparently without their unique brand of vagabond tomfoolery keeping things fresh, entropy sets in and the world devolves into chaos.
