Top 10 things we learned on our way to California
10. The stars at night are big and bright (clap, clap, clap, clap) deep in the heart of Texas, but they are bigger and brighter way out in far west Texas.
9. Believe it or not, there are people who go to convenience stores looking for health food. (We are not them.)
8. Skunks hate New Mexico so much they will take their own lives to escape it.
7. It just ain’t a road trip without jerky.
6. Despite what people may tell you, New Mexico is NOT hypoallergenic.
5. The cutest Border Patrol agents are in Arizona.
4. Bourbon and chocolate milk do not a mudslide make. (Or even approximate.)
3. Elvis is alive, and he’s busking on the streets of Tombstone, Arizona.
2. The best American pop music stations in So-Cal broadcast in Spanish.
1. If Los Angeles fell into the ocean, most Angelenos would be too busy yakking on their mobile phones to notice.
